How Hard is it to be an Asian Woman in today's society?

Very hard I guess.  Juggling a career, home, family life, work, education, kids, husband, in-laws cannot be an easy feat. Kudos to the women who do it seamlessly.  I really can't describe the amount of respect I have for such women.  

Living in an Asian community and wanting to do what your heart desires can usually cause quite a clash. It is accustomed in our society for women to stay at home after marriage and raise children. If they don't have children then help out with chores at home. Some women thrive in such a society and don't ever want to face the prospect of education and career. But others are screaming for a change within.  Especially if they had a successful career beforehand or pursued their education with rigor. Of course, things are now drastically changing. It has become somewhat impossible for some families to survive on single incomes alone which thrust some women out of the home without choice or say.  Also, men and in-laws are becoming more open-minded about things like having a career and raising children. 

If it is a fiscal necessity to work to put food on the table then you can't avoid it. But I am referring more to the women who can survive on a single income but still choose to work in order to put their years of education to better use.  Having children is not a hurdle for them.  They overcome many hurdles.  If they do leave their job because of children, they turn their attention to other skills that they can do at home or start their own businesses.  There is an architect on YouTube who now makes videos about wearing the Hijab and how to apply make up.  She has two children but never allowed that to be a dampener on her focus and ambition. You don't have to remain stagnant and pursue the same career for years (even after having children).  If your priorities change in life, find other outlets to pursue.  She is the best example of that.  A successful Muslim architect who gave it all up to become a full-time mum and now a regular favourite of millions of subscribers on YouTube.  I guess it all depends on how supportive your husband is as well.  At the end of the day, if he isn't going to agree to it then things can take a turn for the worse at home (especially if in-laws get involved too). 

As I am not a mother myself, I cannot relate to women who do leave their children to work. I can't imagine where they find the strength to do that. Some women are very lucky to have helpful and understanding employers who agree to tailor their working day around their children, but others are not so forthcoming.  InshALLAH if I do become a mother one day, I would focus all my energies and devote all time to raising that child purely because it is my duty, Islamically, to do so.  We all agree as women that we have the right to work, earn money, educate ourselves, but we also have a duty towards our children and husbands. Rights are usually always asked for by women but sometimes few fulfill their duties.  I know it is hard to raise children and they can be so ungrateful as they grow up.  But even if you are not working, at least you are educated enough (I hope!) to teach them the difference between right and wrong, manners, about Islam and other matters of importance.  You wouldn't want to just plop them in front of a TV and expect the TV to raise them. They might resent you very much about that later on in their teenage/adult life.  When they start going to school, then you can start looking for your step on the career ladder or go back to education to gain new skills that employers might want. 

I guess it is alot easier said than done and each and every family on this planet does things differently in their homes. What works for one might not work for the other.  I, personally, would start feeling suffocated if I was just a “mum” for the rest of my life.  Envisaging a life of making breakfast, dropping kids, making lunch, picking kids, doing homework/rest/play, dinner actually scares me to the bone. I feel that I have worked so hard in my life (during my education) and that I would like to put that hard work to good use.  Eventually, aren’t our children going to grow up, educate themselves, work and then leave the family home? So, why not give them a real working example of what it takes to pursue a career and raise a family.  I feel they would be very proud of me, but that pride would all stem from how I have raised them.

Allah (SWT) knows best about my future and I leave it all in His good Mercy. 

Sorry if my blog has been a bit wishy washy. I guess I don’t have the experience to put my point across.

Keep smiling and remaining positive people. Until next time!

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